We all know them. The powerful Alpha Male (or Female) who seems to have the sole life purpose of being the pack leader. I'm sure when I say Alpha Male someone like Donald Trump, General Douglas MacArthur, or Hugh Hefner all come to mind. Likewise the Alpha FEmale may stand out in similar ways, such as Angelina Jolie, Fergie and yes - even Oprah... SO, what exactly makes an Alpha you may be asking?? First off, the overwhelming need to be in control of every situation, followed by the illusion of superiority among other, less obvious traits. With that being said, Alpha's can be very useful. They tend to be innovative, intelligent, and leaders. BUT, with every positive comes a negative, and in the world of dating - Alpha's can be a real, well how can I put this, pain in the ass!
I myself recently had an interesting encounter with an Alpha Male... Let's refer to him as Zeus. Zeus is a great guy, don't get me wrong. VERY smart, funny, sexy... BUT he is most definitely an Alpha Male. When we were engaged in a group conversation with several others, it became painfully obvious Zeus is one of those... One of those men who feel the need to be standing while in discussion with several, most of which were women and all of whom were sitting, to show his superiority and to show his control of the room. His other Alpha Male traits included every stereotype you can imagine from being the mighty protector, to the savior God, to the always correct person. He even capped it all off with a dose of typical Alpha Male stubbornness.
Well, what's a girl to do?? Especially a girl who is also bordering on Alpha herself... Yes, I'll admit it. I'm a borderline Alpha and unfortunately drawn to other Alpha's which spells a whole new dysfunction. Perhaps that is my desperate attempt to finding someone who can keep me in check?? Just kidding. Anyway, Alpha's such as we are, tend to want to be in control of EVERYTHING. SO, in the middle of what was to be a nice evening, it turned somewhat disastrous. There was an uncomfortable undertone, followed by a constant power struggle. To make matters worse, there were subsequent arguments over the Alpha situations of the evening... Funny thing?? I really don't want to be an Alpha!
Which brings me to my final point... Is there a pressure on us 30-something females to have and be it all?? Is this whole generation of Alpha females something we have created?? Several decades ago, it was the job of the male to be the leader. NOW, don't get me wrong, I'm all for women's lib and feminism, but where do we draw the line?? In dating?? Perhaps this is why I'm still single?? Am I going against the natural order of things in fighting for control?? I'd like to think NO. C'mon, the famous Alpha's, both male and female, tend to be highly desired; but in the real world?? I suppose what I learned from this Alpha disaster, is with anything, there is a fine balance that must be achieved. I guess to some extent we all possess some Alpha traits, but it is up to us to decide if and when to let them out of the cage. I suppose for now, I'll keep dealing with Zeus, and the many like him I know... Anyone with any suggestions on success with an Alpha feel free to give me advice!
Stripped down, exposed and real...
~N/A
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